Fear of Bliss

My misery has enjoyed company
And although I have ached, I don’t threaten anybody
Sometimes I feel more bigness than I’ve shared with you
Sometimes I wonder why I quell
When I’m not required to
I’ve tried to be small
I’ve tried to be stunted
I’ve tried roadblocks and all
My happy endings prevented
Sometimes I feel it’s all just too big
To be true
I sabotage myself for fear of what
My bigness could do
Fear of bliss and
Fear of joytude
Fear of bigness
And ensuing solitude
I could be golden
I could be glowing
I could be freedom
But that could be boring
Sometimes I feel this is just too scary
To be true
I sabotage myself for fear of losing
You
Fear of bliss and
Fear of joytude
Fear of bigness
And ensuing solitude
This talk of liberation makes me want
To go lie down
Under the covers til the terror of the
Unknown is gone
I could be full
I could be thriving
I could be shining
Sounds isolating
Sometimes I feel this is too good
To be true
I sabotage myself for fear of what
My joy could do
Fear of bliss and
Fear of joytude
Fear of bigness
And ensuing solitude
Fear of bliss and
Fear of joytude
Fear of bigness
And ensuing solitude
I’ve tried to be small
I’ve tried to be stunted
I’ve tried roadblocks and all
My happy endings prevented