Ladies Who Lunch

I’d like to propose a toast
Here’s to the ladies who lunch--
Everybody laugh
Lounging in their caftans
And planning a brunch
On their own behalf
Off to the gym
Then to a fitting
Claiming they’re fat
And looking grim
'Cause they’ve been sitting
Choosing a hat
Does anyone still wear a hat?
I’ll drink to that
Here’s to the girls who play smart--
Aren’t they a gas?
Rushing to their classes
In optical art
Wishing it would pass
Another long exhausting day
Another thousand dollars
A matinee, a Pinter play
Perhaps a piece of Mahler’s
I’ll drink to that
And one for Mahler
Here’s to the girls who just watch--
Aren’t they the best?
When they get depressed
It’s a bottle of Scotch
Plus a little jest
Another chance to disapprove
Another brilliant zinger
Another reason not to move
Another vodka stinger
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I’ll drink to that
So, here’s to the girls on the go--
Everybody tries
Look into their eyes
And you’ll see what they know:
Everybody dies
A toast to that invincible bunch
The dinosaurs surviving the crunch
Let’s hear it for the ladies who lunch--
Everybody rise!
Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise!
Rise!