What the Hell Happened to Me?

I used to ride my big wheel, and sell lemonade
Eat popcorn with grandpa while we watched the parade
But now I’m only happy when I’m drinking J. D
What the hell happened to me?
I used to have fun throwing snowballs with my best friend Billy
And Mom would make us cocoa if we got too chilly
But now I only get excited when I see a girl pee
What the hell happened to me?
I used to be the nicest kid in the neighborhood
I only did the things that Momma said I should
But now I just do whatever I want
I even whipped it out in a restaurant
I used to help clean the park in the middle of town
And then played kickball til the sun went down
But now all I do is get VD
What the hell happened to me?
It makes no sense
I can’t believe I ended on me
I’m out of my gourd
Won’t somebody please, help me?
A do-do-do-do-do wop-bop doobaly do
I’m kind of a wierdo