Uhauls & Ryders

All around the city they are coming in their U-Hauls and their Ryders
They pack their fragile items in old love letters and move in right beside us
This place was a mistake, she looks to next September
He thought it was a quake but it only was a tremor
And now their hearts will break 'cause I went and lost my temper
And I’d like to say I’m sorry
All around the world the brides have registered from Brooklyn Heights to Moscow
All around this town your friends are telling me that I’m much better off now
I have done your bidding to your specifications
I made you a gift of the remainder of my patience
Only to be told that I was too complacent
And I’d like to say I’m sorry
But everything I try hurts
Everything I try hurts
Everything I try hurts
New York, Boston
I thought it would be easy once you had the grace to give me your number
Your folks, my folks
Every other Christmas but we never even made it through summer
This is too hard, I don’t know how to do this
It’s really such a shame you’ve devised all the excuses
Because as couples go we were just about the cutest
So aren’t you even sorry?
I have burned all your pots and pans
I have over-watered all your plants
I have wept all over this romance
And I’d like to say I’m sorry
But everything I try hurts
Everything I try hurts
Everything I try hurts
(New York, Boston)